NCAA Ruminations - Off Season Roundup!

While I was seesawing about whether or not to relaunch BUCFP this summer, I couldn't help but notice it was one of the juiciest summers on record for college football stories. Admittedly, most of the juice came from one source. See the following chart for an explanation:

Still, there was so much going on I just knew that this season was going to deliver big (if it ever gets here). Let's look at some highlights of the off season shall we:

Off Season Highlights

1. Johnny Football: How do I put this? For the few female participants in our pool, I'm going to share with you something that you may not all ready know. From the ages of 18 through about 23, males are not smart. Not even by the furthest stretch of the imagination. Those in that age bracket that excel, do so by pure luck. Those that excel in sports do so because a) they are immensely talented, b) they probably work hard, and c) they have coaches or other adults that spend unGodly amounts on security details to be sure they don't get in trouble. Well, when you are a freshmen at one of the Holy Churches of college football (located in College Station) and you win the Heisman, I guess all bets are off. If you took me at age 20, removed a few pounds, added a few inches, added some speed, added athletic ability, added talent, etc. (you get the picture)... you'd get johnny Football. Yes, if I won the Heisman, I'd have scooped up every deal imaginable. I have to admit, while I recognize he isn't the sharpest tool int he shed, I admire his spiteful ways! And if it took Johnny Football and Jay Bilas to get the NCAA to ALMOST admit to mountainous levels of hypocrisy, then I'm all aboard! In my dream scenario, Johnny Manziel scores on a run in the season opener and celebrates by pulling a roll of twenties out of his jock and making it rain on the crowd.
2. Preseason Polls: The SEC has FIVE teams in the top ten because...of course it does. Ohio State nabs the #2 spot because it beat nobody last season and because Urban Meyer is tight with the one we call Beelzebub. Clemson is #8 just because the fall from #5 would have been too spectacular. Notre Dame is #11 because teh Title Game beating simply wasn't bad enough, apparently. Florida State is #12 because the Noles are back for the eleventh consecutive year. Texas is #15 because the Longhorns actually bought the USA Today Coaches Poll with excess cash flow. 
3. Geaux Air Tigers: New LSU offensive coordinator Cam Cameron says the passing game will be "spectacular", thereby assuring the rest of the world that Les Miles is going to call for running plays whenever it doesn't make sense.
4. If one is to believe the hype, and one couldn't be blamed for doing so: Jadeveon Clowney is the single most impressive force displayed by mankind in history.
5. Oregon, putting the student in student athlete: I really can't say more...just click the link: I do believe the NCAA Amateur status jumped the proverbial shark 

This is where the Osama Bin Laden raid was planned and commanded...wait, I thought you said this was "The War Room"? It is? Oh for crying out loud...

That's all I can think of for now, but I'm sure a LOT more will surface prior to the start of the season. Keeps your eyes peeled!